Monday, March 19, 2007


Q: Why does a super-hero wear red suspenders?

A: To hold his prosthetic leg-rockets on!

THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN introduced the idea of prosthetics as super-power to a whole generation of kids...the idea that grievous bodily disfigurement is your ticket to adventure! I can recall imagining the fun I might have if I weren't saddled with those puny meat-limbs of mine. In retrospect, the White House might have gotten more bang for the buck using the money spent on bribing radio personalities and producing fake news spots to instead produce a new, extreme version of our old buddy Steve Austin. I'm sure the kids would be mobbing the recruiters looking for their chance to score an awesome new bionic arm or two.

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